Spirit Lead Me

“Spirit lead me where Your trust is without borders.” These words rang in my ears as I contemplated starting this blog. I have attempted blogs before and I have wrestled with starting this one. My heart went back and forth between wanting to step out in faith and start something new, exciting, and very uncertain and also being very fearful of failure and disappointment. So, I have decided to follow Jesus and step out in faith. If this blog is successful it is all because of Him. He will be the sole reason for the success of this blog and I will give Him all of the glory. Not so that I will be seen, but so that His name will become known.

Lead me Lord and give me the strength to follow. Amen.

The Sins of Your Past Don’t Have to be the Sins of Your Future

I knew this girl who was extremely bitter. She complained about everything. She was happy with nothing. She took every opportunity to share her misery with those around her and consequently no one really wanted to be around her. She had pushed God and those who loved her away and she was stranded alone in a sea of despair, clinging to misery as her life raft.

This friend would complain, people would try to comfort her, but in her pain, she lashed out and pushed them away. She isolated herself and felt like no one cared about her when people were hesitant to reach out. This made her more angry and sad and this just started the cycle all over again. She felt trapped in grief and she felt like she could never break the pattern she had established.

Just recently, I have been convicted of my own sin struggle. My fiancé and I have been together for ten months and we have been more intimate than is wise for us to be at this stage in our relationship. It is a challenge to break this cycle because we are so in love and we just want to be close to each other. We justify our actions by the knowledge that we will be together for the rest of our lives. Multiple times I have drawn lines that I eventually cross.

My sin isolates me from The Lord. I know I am straying from God’s design and plan for my life. Yet, I allow my feelings to guide my actions instead of giving my sins to God and allowing Him to change my heart. This makes me feel guilty and ashamed, which prompts me to avoid God and just live in my sin because it is easier to do that than face Him and the guilt of disobeying Him once again. I feel like I am trapped in earthly desires and I feel like I can never break the pattern I have established.

Then I think about Saul. The man literally chased down Christ-followers in order to kill them. He hated Christians. He had a hard heart and He wanted to cause pain to everyone who followed Jesus. Then one day he was struck blind and just like that God changed His heart. It was probably just another day for him; one minute he was walking a road to capture Christ-followers and the next he was interrupted by the Holy Spirit and set on a completely different course.

Saul would forever be known as Paul after that. But think of how he must have been received for the longest time. A man who once captured and murdered people he hated was now claiming to be one of those people. How hard it must have been to go to other Christ-followers and try to get them to trust him, to recognize his transformation. Paul was probably plagued with guilt for his past transgressions. He must have been tempted to hate his past self.

He probably felt like there was so much wasted time. Time spent killing Christians that could have been used to further the cause.

Just like my friend thinks she wasted the past year of her life being miserable.

Just like I feel like I have wasted my time spent dating being trapped in sexual temptation rather than pursuing a Christ-centered relationship with my fiancé.

But it is only a waste if we allow ourselves to continue to be stuck in our cycle of sin.

In Acts 9 the scales fall away from Saul’s eyes. He IMMEDIATELY got up and was baptized. He rose from his position of sin and hate and he immersed himself in water, washing away his past sin and allowing the love of Christ to overcome him erase the mistakes of the past.

My friend has chosen to move beyond her position of despair and self-pity to a place of pursuit. She is chasing after The Lord and she is allowing others to come close to her as she is trying to get close to them. She is abandoning her past fears and insecurities and giving God the reigns to lead her.

I am in constant pursuit of God. I still slip up and make mistakes but I do not live in a place of guilt and shame. I pick myself up, take a deep breath and try again.

God can use any situation to reflect glory back onto Himself. Your brokenness will not hinder His plan. He will use it to shape you, and if you choose to allow Him to, change your heart and your path. Your past sins will become a marker for your transformation.

Do not allow yourself to become stuck in sin just because it seems impossible to break the cycle. Your past sin does not have to be a part of your future.

Is What I’m Doing Enough?

This is a question I know many of us ask ourselves on a daily basis. Am I wearing the right clothes? Am I in the right major? Did I write a good enough paper for an A? Every day we look at ourselves under a microscope, zoomed in to the millionth degree and we agonize over every detail of our lives and we ask: am I enough?

This question haunts us as we travel through our society. But it also burdens us on a deeper level as well. Just recently I was talking with a friend about whether or not what she was doing was enough for God. She is pursuing her passion. She is working toward something that has the potential to make her happy, and even better, gives her an amazing opportunity to serve others. And yet she was genuinely wondering if it was all too good to be true. Could she truly be happy and serve God at the same time? In order to serve God well didn’t she have to go over seas and minister? Could God truly be satisfied with the effort she was making here?

Ephesians 2:10 says, “for we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

We are God’s special creation. He made no mistakes with us, we are His handiwork, He created us personally. He took time and He thought about what our role would be in His kingdom.

We were created for good works there are no rules about what this looks like. It just means we roll up our sleeves and dive in to the work God has set before us, no matter what that job is.

And God prepared our jobs in advance. He planned ahead. He has a specific purpose for us. So to minimize the call on our lives is telling God He made a mistake in giving us our calling. To doubt or question the importance or worthiness of what we are doing is questioning God’s plan and His judgment on what is good and important and worthy.

God is most glorified when we are most satisfied in Him.

Friends, I don’t think we have to choose between being happy and serving God. And I don’t believe that God holds those who travel overseas to do His work in higher regard than those who stay in the States to do His work. The important thing is that we are DOING HIS WORK. I truly believe we are called to serve The Lord right where we are with a joyful heart. We don’t have to travel across the world in order to glorify His name. (And honestly if you aren’t serving Him well here, in the little things, you probably won’t be too successful trying to serve Him in the big things.) We all have different callings. Some people are meant to travel to far away lands where English is unknown in order to spread the gospel. But some of us are meant to stay home and make just as great of an impact on God’s people here.

Going or staying is not the important part. It’s the doing that matters most.

God doesn’t care if we are helping someone cross the street or translating bibles; as long as we are doing it in His name, He is being glorified!

It is when we avoid his nudgings and the calls He places in our lives that God is dissatisfied with us.

And another thing, serving God doesn’t have to be miserable! In fact, it shouldn’t be. God places desires on our hearts for a reason. Pursue those in His name and His name will be lifted high.